Best Fantasy Football Names: Top 307 Fantasy Football Team Names for 2014

Play Instant Fantasy Sports Games for Free or for Cash

The Best 2014 Fantasy Football Team Names are those which are inventive and either clever, raunchy, comical or a little bit risqué, but also incorporate some elements of the NFL, its coaches and players.

And generally, they are put to bed every January, and pulled back out and dusted off every July, August or September right before the formation of Fantasy Football leagues and drafts.

Some staunch supporters of a specific team may even incorporate their hatred for another team in their division, letting their fellow Fantasy Football team owners know exactly how they feel.

A rabid Redskins supporter might use something like "Leon Lett Me See That Mirror" or "The Phallus Cowboys", and a Dallas fan could respond with something inventive and mean-spirited like "Joe Theisman's Leg" or "Dan Snyder's Cash for Clunkers".

Draft the best team this week - Win a trip to Vegas! $10 can win you $25,000! Draft a new team every week!

Then there is the always reliable "Over Dwayne Bowe", "Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe" and "Taste Dwayne Bowe" as well as "The ConVicks" and "Kibbles and Vicks" which reared their ugly but comical heads when Michael Vick was arrested for animal cruelty charges and was sent to the Gray Bar Hotel.

"Who Let the Dogs Drown" actually makes a great song reference while it bashes Mike's decision-making process. Nice. More Vick references - "Vick’s Dog Walking Service", "Ron Mexico’s Revenge" and "Vick's Bad Newz Kennels". And of course, you can always show your massive sexual desire or love for an athlete, like "I Throb for Schaub" displays.

Let's all have a nice big round of applause for genius decision maker ... Michael Vick (aka - Ron Mexico)

And some of the best team names use NFL players who had a big hand in dealing a powerful loss to another team, such as "To Hell in a Hank Baskett", which commemorates Chris Reis of the New Orleans Saints fighting futilely for the ball against Hank Baskett of the Indianapolis Colts after a onside kick to start the second half during Super Bowl XLIV when the Aints got there SuperBowl Victory.

Not only is this a good team name, but it's also an excellent way to describe Super Bowl XLIV to Colts' fans. You also have great movie and tv tie-ins, like "Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi", "Boldin the Beautiful", "Casselblanca" and "Oh My God, They Killed Henne!"

Then there is the tried and true tradition of beating up some felon like Mike Vick, or would-be rape-charged NFL player like Ben Roethlisberger with "Big Ben Her Over", "Ben Rapelisberger", "Ben There Raped That" and countless others, and Plaxico Burress with "Burrested Development".

And when you are up on felony drug charges, you deserve to be made fun of. "Codeine Makes Me Jolly" refers to Green Bay Packer Johnny Jolly's arrest in March of 2011, and is a relatively new Fantasy Football name.

And picking fun at a football player who seemingly can't figure out the correlation between unprotected sex and pregnancy with somepone he is not married to is always fun, as "DeShaun's Foster Kids", "Travis Henry is My Dad" and "Travis Henry’s Illegitimates" show. You have 9 children by 9 women that we know of in Henry's case, and the gloves come off.

Look at the big smile on Daddy Henry's face with 6 of his children from 6 different women!

Childish references to a man's privates are always reliable, like "Scratching Your Cotchery", and religious Fantasy Football Team owners will love "What Would Jones-Drew?" Is that what those WWJD bracelets are referring to?

"My Tight End and Your First and Long" covers sex and two football terms, very nice. "I'm Thinkin' RBs" is a great Advertising slogan ripoff for an owner with a stacked backfield, and for a statement of your frame of mind, there is "Sick and Tired of All Your Craphonso!" referring to Indy player Craphonso Thorpe, and one of my faves, even though I love the guy, "Do Us All a Favre and Retire".

Favre retires ... again.

"Wilfork for Food" works on the angle that Vince Wilfork is one large mammal, and "Rex Ryan Footpie", "Feetasaurus Rex" and "Dr. Ryan’s Podiatry" refer to his sexual proclivities. "Last Dance With Saddam Hussein" and "Osama Bin Gone" are two great ones to kiss off those two losers.

Women and Girls Fantasy Football Names!

And women have "Girl Power", "End Zone Divas", "Women Do It Better", "Sunday Widows", "SuperMom", "Women Who Score", "Girls Gone Wild", "The Powderpuffs", "Married…With Children", "On the Rag-ged Edge", "Chicks with Balls" and one woman who owns a team in one of my favorite local leagues chose "The EaGals" because of her unnatural love of the crappy Philadelphia Eagles.

And what we all think of our team on draft day, "Greatest Show on Paper".

Sometimes you have to mispronounce a player's name to get it, as is the case with "These Pretzels are Maclin Me Thirsty".

And for all you Tebow haters, there's "Tim Teblows". "Joe Buck Yourself" is a nice broadcaster reference, and some have no reference to sports, but are just awesome, like "Fort Hood Muslim Glee Club".

And if you make millions of dollars a year and sign your check with an 'X' because you are an illiterate idiot, you get "Dexter Manley's Book Club".

And making fun of alcoholics is always fun, which "Kissing Suzy Kolber" reminds us. Have a drink on me, Mr. Namath. And there is the more recent "Donte Drink and Drive" and "Donte Stallworth's Driving School". Of course, references to actual football terminology work well. Check out "No Punt Intended", "3rd and Drunk" and "Show Me Your TDs".

In honor of that last one, check the Weird Science fantasy football-themed tribute below ...

TONY HOMO'S Fantasy Football Team Names

And there's always the good old standby; calling a specific player's manhood into question. We have to refer again to a member of the Dallas Cowboys here, as Tony Romo's last name, unfortunately for him and his supporters, is only one letter separated from that age old expression men have always used when kidding their friends or referring to a male human being that enjoys the nighttime companionship of another male human being.

"Romosexual Tendencies", "When in Romo, Do What the Homos Do" and "No Romos In The Army" are three Fantasy Football Names that will always be used by Redskins fans and Tony Romo haters to taunt his supporters and to draw a grin or chuckle from co-managers.

As far as individual players and positions, we have several popular players and over 100 suggestions of the Best Fantasy Football Names for them below. Then we list 3 football team names for each team broken down by division for another 96 Best Fantasy Football Names, and finally, we scoured the web and found over 100 more awesome Fantasy Football Team names.

Have a suggestion? Leave a comment below with your choices, and hold nothing back. You can be as raunchy or comical as your inventive brain can allow.

I enjoyed doing the research for this Best Fantasy Football Names website, and was laughing the entire time at the comical names, raising an eyebrow at the more rauncy and dirty, and shaking or nodding my head in disbelief or agreement with the rest.

I scoured individual websites such as LestersLegends, the Bleacher Report and countless others, as well as tons of individual blogs, and contacted several of my fellow Fantasy Football Veteran buddies such as ...

Aaron "Never Met a Girl He Didn't Poke" Ingraham,

Edward "Stand Up When You're Talking To Me" Allen,

Ronald "Turbo" Smith,

Bruce "Anal Thunder Thursday" Cataldo and

RJ "Say Cheese" Hill.

I hope you enjoy these Best Fantasy Football Team Names as well. And if anyone from the Lamm at Large Fantasy Football League or the There Can Be Only One League is reading this, your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower baby!

Every attempt is made to offend and tick off every possible race, ethnicity and religion below. If you are easily offended by off-color and risque remarks, why are you still reading?

Positional Fantasy Football Names from 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011

QBs:

1. Drew Brees - Breesy Like Sunday Morning; Easy, Brees-E, Hook & Curl; Pimpin' at Brees-E

2. Peyton Manning - Manning-fest Destiny; Manning-Up

3. Tom Brady - Tom Brady's Bunch; Tom Brady Knows How to Love a Lady; The Illegitimate Brady

4. Aaron Rodgers - Aaron Rodgers & Hammerstein; Jolly Rodgers

5 Tony Romo - Romo Sapians; Romo Erectus; Romogenized ilk; Romosexual Tendancies; Runnin' Red Romophobes

6. Philip Rivers - Phillip See More Often; Phillip River's Dance

7 Donovan McNabb - Livin' in a Donovan by the River; Donovanity Fair; Dono-Van Gough; Donovans Warped Tour; Conversion Donovan; Grabbin' for McNabbin

8. Jay Cutler - Oldsmobile Cutler Supreme; Cutler E. Set; Tird Cutler

9. Matt Ryan - Saving Matt Ryan's Privates; Shaving Matt Ryan's Privates

10. Ben Roethlisberger - Roethlisberger with Cheese; Roethlisberger in Paradise; Ruthless Burger

11. Matt Cassel - King of the Cassel; Cassel Grayskull

12. Matt Schaub - I Throb for Schaub; Blow Schaub

13. Carson Palmer - Palmer Than You Are, Dude; Palmer of the Storm; Carson-Palmer Scott

14. Eli Manning - Eli Likes My Pie [also, see Peyton Manning]

15. David Garrard - Playing the Garrard Card; Hard for Garrard

16. Kyle Orton - Orton Hears a Who; Orton Fears the Flu; Orton Steers the Crew

17. Chad Pennington - Federal Pennington Tree; Soft as a Pennington Bear

18. Brett Favre - Favre Dollar Footlong; I got Favre On It; Favre Finger Death Punch; Favre for Fighting

19. Marc Bulger - My Bulger Is Bigger Than Your Bulger; The Best Part of Waking Up is Bulger in your Cup;

20. Jake Delhomme - Delhomme Field Advantage; Delhomme Sweet Delhomme;

RBs:

21. Adrian Peterson - Playing with my Peterson; Peterson Piper;

22. Maurice Jones-Drew - Mo-Jo? Fo Sho!

23. Steven Jackson - The Jackson 5; I'm sorry Mr. Jackson;

24. Michael Turner - Michael Turner Overdrive; Michael Turner & Hooch

25. Matt Forte - Winning is my Forte

26. DeAngelo Williams - Defining DeAngelo; There Ain't No Defending DeAngelo

27. Steve Slaton - Clean Slaton; Slaton the Obvious

28. Marion Barber - The Barber Shop;

29. Jamal Lewis - Jamal Lewis and the News;

30. Tim Hightower - Hightower, Low Expectations;

31. Willy Parker - Mr. Willy Paker Just Don't Know!

WRs:

32. Larry Fitzgerald: Puttin' on the Fritz; Fritz Backer;

33. Randy Moss - A Cover 2 Zone Gathers No Moss;

34. Andre Johnson - Fixed my Johnson Rod; Jumping for Johnson;

35. Jerricho Cotchery - You just got kicked in the Cotchery

36. Ted Ginn, Jr. - Sippin on Ginn and Juice

37. Eddie Royal - Eddie Royal with Cheese

38. Braylon Edward - Braylon and Done

TEs:

39. Jason Witten - Smitten for Witten

40. Chris Cooley - Cooley-O's Fantastic Ride

41. Visanthe Shiancoe - Every Little City We Go, I see the same Shiancoe; Look at that Shiancoe on Him;

42. Bo Scaife - Bo Don't Know Scaife

43. Ben Watson - Mr. Ben Watson's Sexual Chocolate

Ks:

44. Mason Crosby - Mason Crosby, Still is Trash

Other:

45. Johnson & Johnson (drafting two Johnsons)

46. Keeping up with the Joneses (drafting two Joneses)

47. The Other White Meat (a team with more than one of the following players: Wes Welker, Kevin Walter, Kevin Curtis)

Now on to the divisional breakdowns with three of the Best Fantasy Football Names for each team that we could find. We tried not to repeat from above, but a little repetition may be present. Again, please send in your own Fantasy Football team names from leagues past and present below and if yours are better than ours we will put yours in this NFL team section or the above NFL player section and give you credit for it.

2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 Fantasy Football: Best Fantasy Football Names from the NFC East

Dallas Cowboys

• Dezzy Does Dallas

• Crest Pro Wittening

• Tashard by an Angel

New York Giants

• So Fly Like Hakeem Nicks

• Ahmadmiral Ackbar

• Ring Around the Osi

Philadelphia Eagles

• My Vick in a Box

• I am Asomugha